Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
