ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
