who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
