I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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