So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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