Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
