I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
