i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
