8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
