That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
