your thong is hanging out like whoa
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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