Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
