I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
