if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My butt remains clenched, sir.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
