It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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