My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Let's get the cat blown out
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
