im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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