I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
