if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
