apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
