I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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