Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
