its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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