PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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