So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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