Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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