I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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