I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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