Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
