just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
