i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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