i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
