I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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