PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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