he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
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I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
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I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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