you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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