I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
