Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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