So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
