You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
