i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
