Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
