I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
