whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you win again, gameday.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
