You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
