It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
