But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
