'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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