I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
