is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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