Kiss
Puke
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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