I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
