he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize