So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
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Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
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yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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