i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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