just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Randomize
