I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
