I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
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Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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