Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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