a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
