I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
