This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
