She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
